How To Know If You’re Evolving Or Caught Up In Bright Shiny Object World


I caught up with friends that I haven’t seen in 7 years a couple of weeks ago, and it was a truly blissful catchup. There was no actual problem for this separation, it was purely a case of both sides getting caught up in this whirlwind of life as we know – or was it?!

It’s rehashed a myriad of old emotions because I haven’t been in that space for so long, as well as given me a fresh perspective on so many issues which have already been internally resolved.

On the surface I wasn’t a good friend, I never wanted to hang out, sit around and chat or make the effort really.

Was I doing this to be a bitch?

Absolutely not.

Did I do it intentionally?

No way.

I simply wasn’t happy, and didn’t know how to relay this information to anybody, and so it showed up as inconsistentcy in my life.

Being this inconsistent has held me back from more than not being a great friend, it’s stunted my financial and personal life goals.

As I’ve shared before, I did so much chopping and changing that I’m now wary of making ANY changes, because of past experience. It dawned on me yesterday that the key here is deciphering the difference between whether up-levelling and procrastination, which includes waiting for the next thing to save you.

I can now clearly see how a BSO can disguise it self behind evolving and moving forward, but what if you aren’t ready to make that leap?

Think about that.

It’s like a Med Student wanting to be a surgeon while he’s still studying – most times you need to allow the learning’s to take place while YOU consistently take daily steps to reach your goal.

This is not about getting to the finish race the fastest, but at the same time it’s not about hiding behind your evolution journey or waiting to feel inspired. So you see there is a fine line between the two.

Evolution feels like a natural progression, perhaps a step or two forward – not 10 steps. If 10 steps feels great for you, then go for it. I just know that in my experience, when you jump to high up to the next level it’s not sustainable and so it ends up being a case of 10 steps forward and 11 steps back.

BSO on the other hand, feels like desperation disguised as inspiration. You feel elated, super excited and like THIS is the answer to your prayers.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news honey, but it just ain’t gonna happen like that. I’m all for visualizing what you want and living in the space of believing + action, but once again slow and steady wins the race.

If you want to earn $100k and you’re currently making $5k, then why not make your goal $20k or $50k? Write down your $100k goal but break that down into smaller chunks so that could be to make $20k in the next few months.

Break that down even further, by writing down how many sales you need to make and what sort of action needs to happen to get there.

BSO Warning Bells

When you’re in a space of fear and trying to move up, you’re desperate to see results, which creates a neediness that keeps it all at bay

Thinking you can skip the process by moving forward without ticking off the boxes as you go, without earning your way – because the quick way is better right? Your mind usually just can’t catch up that quickly sweets.

Not seeing something through won’t allow you to truly guage what you need, and it’s going to be a constant uphill battle.

I’m the expert at BSOS (Bright Shiny Object Syndrome) and I’ve got the battle scars to prove it.

Effortless Flow

Evolving still feels scary but it’s an inner knowing that FEELS right. It shows up in the form of inspired ideas, but the difference is that it’s coming from a place of expansion – not neediness.

It offers just the right mix of excitement-fear layered upon a deep sense of knowing and trust. There is clarity and stillness – rather than a flurry of activity – a peak of action with no consistency.

Some things that help me stay on track.

Take time out every morning to write in your journal.

As cliched as this sounds, it’s helped me in more ways than I can even explain. When I’m overwhelmed and going into that fear-space, I see a clearer perspective on my ‘why’ for the change. I also get great ideas that are going to ‘actually’ bring me to my next goal.

Narrow your Offerings

Focus on a 1-2 things max to start with – ideally 1. When I narrowed my focus down from 5 things to 1, not only was everything so much clearer, but I had cleared space mentally + energetically for new ideas about how to market my product – as opposed to new ideas to create and move me away from from I was doing.

A Voice Of Reason

Talk to your Husband, Coach, or Friend about what you’re doing and how you plan on doing it. When I want to go and spend money on a new program or change direction, I run it by my husband & Coach. Not because they need to make the decisions for me, but because they aren’t as attached to my business and see it purely from a practical and logical perspective.

Oh the years I have wasted searching for that magic bullet.

Newsflash: It doesn’t exist!

Steady, consistent action always trumps steroid induced wins.

What are you going to laser focus on for the next month? Declare it below.

Monique Alamedine is a Writer + Intuitive Biz Coach + Life Strategist who believes that ‘success’ means being calm, centred & crazy ambitious – all at the same time.

She calls this being a Zen Hustler – and is on a mission to help you become one too.

She helps women in retail & service business make money doing what they love while ‘keeping it real’. Ain’t no sugar-coated fluff coming out of this Mumma’s mouth – expect straight from the heart home truths delivered with a big serving of love.

As a Zen Hustler, she mixes intuitive readings with kick-ass business strategy. Email


1 Comment on How To Know If You’re Evolving Or Caught Up In Bright Shiny Object World

  1. Katie
    March 17, 2015 at 8:44 am (7 years ago)

    Interesting truths.